Hello everyone,
I hope that you've had a GREAT first two weeks of the year. Although it hasn't been bad for myself I must take this moment to remember what happened two year ago, January 14, 2009. I had planned to write a different blog but I became emotional today and I figured out why.
It's hard to believe it's been that long but indeed it has. It was 4 years ago that I went into early labor with my twin girls. It's crazy that the emotions of that day surface around this same time every year. I don't even have to be thinking about it until I find myself being emotional, it's like clockwork. I miss my twin girls, I can't help but think about what it would be like to have them here with us but then I think, would I have my Jae and Victoria if they had made it. No one should ever go through the pain of losing a baby. This loss was very detrimental, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Losing our twins was my breaking point and it was the next few months that decided whether or not I'd keep walking with God. I fell into a deep depression and it was only God who brought me out of it.
I miss my babies. I miss my son Nehemiah, just thinking about it makes me soo emotional. I'm in tears over my babies but I thank God for the Holy Spirit who is forever my comforter. It's those midnight hours when you're up by yourself when things seem to hit the hardest. I know my babies are in heaven and living it up so I must be at peace with everything. Romans 8:28 "...all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." I love God and I am called according to His purpose so it's all going to work together.
Rest in Love my sweet baby girls, those five months with you bonded us for life. Always a part of me and in my heart.
Your Mother
I hope that you've had a GREAT first two weeks of the year. Although it hasn't been bad for myself I must take this moment to remember what happened two year ago, January 14, 2009. I had planned to write a different blog but I became emotional today and I figured out why.
It's hard to believe it's been that long but indeed it has. It was 4 years ago that I went into early labor with my twin girls. It's crazy that the emotions of that day surface around this same time every year. I don't even have to be thinking about it until I find myself being emotional, it's like clockwork. I miss my twin girls, I can't help but think about what it would be like to have them here with us but then I think, would I have my Jae and Victoria if they had made it. No one should ever go through the pain of losing a baby. This loss was very detrimental, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Losing our twins was my breaking point and it was the next few months that decided whether or not I'd keep walking with God. I fell into a deep depression and it was only God who brought me out of it.
I miss my babies. I miss my son Nehemiah, just thinking about it makes me soo emotional. I'm in tears over my babies but I thank God for the Holy Spirit who is forever my comforter. It's those midnight hours when you're up by yourself when things seem to hit the hardest. I know my babies are in heaven and living it up so I must be at peace with everything. Romans 8:28 "...all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose." I love God and I am called according to His purpose so it's all going to work together.
Rest in Love my sweet baby girls, those five months with you bonded us for life. Always a part of me and in my heart.
Your Mother
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